Psychosis, A Testimonial!

LAMSA: What were the symptoms that you have experienced at first and how did you think about receiving professional help?

“At first, I started to think that I was going to prove some crazy theories about the world that no one had ever proven before. I thought I held the key to something no one could access, an idea. Of course, that proved to be completely false later on.

I did not decide to see a doctor, my parents decided [to do] so, and, if it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t be where I am today.”

LAMSA: Have you faced any type of backlash from society because of your mental health illness? Did you feel like keeping it a secret? What kept you going? What gave you hope that things were going to get better? What encouraged you to seek help? What message would you like to share for anyone suffering in silence?

“Yes, I have faced backlash because of my mental health issue. When I was living my second [episode of] psychosis, I was taking a class at university, and while I was behaving in a way that didn’t make much sense, people were making fun of me and talking about me.”

LAMSA: What gave me hope that things were going to get better was my father. He took care of me the exact way a father should take care of his son, with the most profound care in the world and utmost respect. He was the one who encouraged me slowly but surely to seek help.

“For anyone suffering in silence, reach out to your family. They are the ones who can be there for you. If you don’t have family, reach out to anyone you can trust, as long as you’re well surrounded, everything will be more than okay.”

LAMSA: If you knew about your mental health illness before experiencing it and depending on your answer: If yes: do you feel like previous knowledge helped you in a certain way? If no: do you feel like it would have?

“I didn’t know anything about my mental health before enduring it. It would have made it a lot easier if I had [known]. Not knowing what is happening to you while your own brain is making you believe absurd things and your whole reality has shifted is the most fearful situation one can endure.”

LAMSA: Regarding medical treatment, were you reluctant to take it at first? Do you attribute any improvement of your condition to medical treatment?

“I was so reluctant to take the medical treatment [at] first that I didn’t take it for a year. It was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I was going out with a girl for whom I made everything impossible. She was always crying and suffering in silence because of my paranoia and bullying. I was never violent.

I attribute a big part of my improvement to medical treatment: it is unavoidable, it is necessary. When a person goes through psychosis, they must take medical treatment for the rest of their life. Full stop. If not, it is a life lost.”

LAMSA: Have you engaged in illicit drugs?

“I have taken MDMA on multiple occasions, cocaine three times, hallucinogenic mushrooms three times, and have smoked more cannabis-related drugs than anyone can imagine for 6 full years.”

LAMSA: Can you tell us more about your struggle and recovery process? How important do you consider perseverance and commitment is for recovery? What were your expectations going into treatment, both psychotherapy and pharmacotherapy?

“The road to recovery is full of ups and downs. You first have the psychosis, which is really difficult to live [with], then you have the acceptance that you are ill, which is the most difficult part and harder than anyone can imagine. Accepting that something is wrong with your brain is the biggest hit your ego can take, it shatters it. Then there is taking the medication, because accepting that you are ill doesn’t [necessarily] mean you will accept to take medication. This is also hard, but once you start, you are halfway through the road to recovery. Then there is maintaining the treatment. If you’re convinced that medical treatment heals you, then this part is easy. You have to trust science and our present tools to fight psychosis. They work and have been proven to work. Then there is an extra component that is the easiest of the lot once you’ve gone through the other phases, but that is still very hard to live through, which is finding the right medication for you. Unfortunately, and this is not pointed out enough by the medical body, anti-psychotics have a lot of side effects. This means that you can’t take them at a large dose even if it means having less symptoms. So you have to try different medications at different doses for a couple of months or years. So to summarize, everything about psychosis is really hard to live [with].”

LAMSA: Do you think that social support is important? Did you have supportive people around you? And how much of a difference does the presence of support contribute towards the process of recovery?

“Social support is 50% of the road to recovery. Without my social surroundings, I would be in a very bad place right now. Unfortunately, most people don’t understand how to behave with people suffering with psychosis. Which is why it’s extremely important to educate people about mental health. Educate educate educate.”

LAMSA: How much did your quality of life/symptoms change from baseline? How would you describe the effect of treatment on your life?

“Treatment changed my life and is still changing my life. I will never stop taking my medications. They are part of my daily life now and I am very happy to have this technology available to me. Without it, I would be worth nothing in and to society.”

LAMSA: How is your life right now?

“My life now is amazing. I have everything I want: close friends, a girlfriend, a family that loves me. I see and talk to all of them regularly. A great job. And a great future ahead of me as I am a very hard worker.”

LAMSA: If you have to thank one person in your road to recovery, who would it be?

“If I have to thank one person in my road to recovery it would clearly and by far be my father. Without him, I wouldn’t be alive today.”

So, thank you dad.

LAMSA: What about your studies/work/activities/social life before and after treatment? Any differences?

“Before treatment, I was always smoking weed and not doing anything with my life. I was skipping class, failing some, changing majors, saying I loved a subject and not doing anything about it, not having fulfilling relationships: I was very inconsistent.

After treatment, I finished a major, I started working, I had normal relationships, normal friendships, and a great day to day life.”

LAMSA: Do you believe you have normal life now?

“Yes, I consider [that] I have a normal life now.

More than normal, an amazing life.”

LAMSA: What advice can you give to people struggling with mental illness? What advice can you give to the youth seeing their friends struggling? How can they help?

“To the people who are struggling: reach out to people around you. Adults, not only friends. Parents, academic people, etc., people who will know what to do. Especially family, if you have the luxury to do so.

To people who see their friends struggling with mental health illness I say, educate yourselves about it. Talk to your friends about it, but before saying anything unknowingly, educate yourselves about the mentioned mental health issue. Don’t act as a doctor, notify parents or responsible people when something is not right with your friend.”